Forget Regret... Or life is yours to miss.

So, finally I'm going on BC. I've been suffering from bad .'s since I was a kid, and I figured maybe it was time to go on it. Hopefully it will shorten it too, I was never happy with how long I have it. I just wanted to know, has anybody here taken it? I think it would really help me if some of you shared your experiences with what I'm about to do. Thanks lovies!

Holy butt munchin barnacles am I sore or what? This week has been pretty awesome. Lots of belly dancing and lots of Yoga. Two yoga classes plus a belly dance class yesterday. I am so sore... Anyway, my belly dance teacher is finally teaching me Romani Gypsy dance, I'm really excited. I have a tambourine and everything! I've been chilling with my friend Amanda a lot. Her and I were pretty close in 9th grade but then she moved to Texas. She came back home a few years ago, but we didn't really reconnect or anything, and now it's really nice to have someone to be close to again. I enjoy having that sense of companionship, whether it's romantic or not. Just gotta find the right people I guess. I'm walking the path I've been looking for, and I'm getting to where I want to go... slowly but surely.


"I was born amidst the purple waterfalls.
I was weak, yet not unblessed.
Dead to the world. Alive for the journey.
One night I dreamt a white rose withering,
a newborn drowning a lifetime loneliness.
I dreamt all my future. Relived my past.
I witnessed the beauty of the beast"

Huge bug bite on my leg. True story.

Anyway, today was fun filled. I went on a photo shoot with some girls from college. We did a Gothic Alice in Wonderland photo shoot. They made me the Queen of Hearts. We headed out to Sans Point and though it was rainy, it was a relatively beautiful place. BIG CASTLES! I love castles. I found a dead Horse shoe crab and was tempted to take it's body home with me, but instead I made it a little shrine. I think I'm insane? Help?

Haha, anyway, my day ended with the last day of Belly dance classes for the next two months. -sniff- My teacher wanted to take off. So I was thinking, since I wont be going to belly dance, maybe going to more Bikram Yoga classes. I tried out one class a few months ago, and though I thought I was going to die at one point from the heat, I thoroughly enjoyed it and felt amazing after I drank about a gallon of water.

I'm coming up with some awesome ideas for my future. I was never really one to think ahead, I usually live in the moment, but for jobs ideas...

Massage Therapy
Professional Belly Dancer
Yoga Instructor


I found another bug bite on my shoulder... DAMNIT


=)

So, I'm back after a very bad first half of a year. I'm not going into detail, but times been rough. Trying to keep my head on straight, but sometimes I tend to lose it. I disappeared, I know, I'm sorry. I can't be around anybody when I feel like I don't have it together. To those of you who have been supportive and by my side through out all of this, thank you. To those of you who have turned your backs on me, thanks for letting me see who you really are. It's actually kind of good for me, seeing as how I know who to weed out of my life. =)

But yeah, thanks to those of you who have commented on my LJ to show some kind of support. I really appreciate it! <3

My dancing is getting better and I'm losing my performance anxiety. I still have it, but at least I'm not fainting on stage. I'm going to be going to New York College soon for Massage Therapy. I am not going to back down anymore.

I miss cosplaying and going to cons. =( It's nice to see everyone is still enjoying themselves by doing that.

And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

And so it is
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time
And so it is
The colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?

I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind...
My mind...my mind...
'Til I find somebody new

Dear friends, once had been friends, or whatever you may be to me...


This is to all the people in my life who I have loved, who have at one point loved me. I just wanted to let you all know that there are some of you who I feel neglected by. I have tried on numerous occasions to get into contact with you but I have not been answered. If you wish to end a friendship, let me know. I'm sorry that I'm not made of money and finding a job around me is harder then Tommy Lee in Pamela Andersons pornos. So, I'm sorry if I can't come out to you, especially since I don't have my license despite my many attempts to obtain one. However, if you don't even want to speak to me MAKE IT KNOWN AND GIVE ME A REASON WHY. Do NOT leave me in the dark. If something is bothering you and you have never expressed it to me then our relationship will fail unless you make it known.



I recently just quit my job at Utopia because I was unhappy with how I was being treated. I didn't like the shit pay I was getting. I want to be in an environment where I am respected and yes, I'm going for my dreams. That means I want to become a massage therapist and a belly dancer. Don't think these things take priority over you, but do know it's not something I'm going to give up. You guys think I don't know the harsh realities of life? I do. I really really do. I work hard to make money, which unfortunately is pissed away because I have things to pay for as well, especially getting crap pay and little hours to work with.


I ALWAYS THINK OF YOU MOTHER FUCKERS NOW FUCKING SAY SOMETHING AND GET IT OVER WITH.

Just please do it over IM or phone call... even in person would be nice and even more honorable... thank you.

Name: Victoria
Date: 11/16/2008
Colorgenics Number: 31524706

You are striving for a life full of activity and experience and, perhaps even more, an environment where you would be able to forge a close bond with a person who can offer full emotional fulfilment.

You are working extremely hard trying to improve your image in the eyes of others. You are looking for acknowledgement from your peers and those who come into your sphere of influence. You want to be liked, not for what people think of you but for what you really are.

Matters are not progressing as well as you would have hoped and you are having to make concessions - but you still believe that your goals are realistic it's just that people can't seem to see your point of view. You know what you want but you'll only accept suggestions under duress.

You are holding back. You need to find friends in whom you can trust and once they have proved themselves beyond all possible doubt you will be prepared to give them your all. The existing situation is not of your liking - you have an unsatisfied need for mental stimulation with others whose standards are as high as your own. Trying to control your instincts the way you do restricts your ability to open up to others and the way you feel at this time is suggestive of 'total surrender'. This is not to your liking as you consider such thoughts as weaknesses that need to be overcome. You feel that only by control, controlling your innermost thoughts, are you able to maintain your air of superiority. You want to be admired for yourself alone and not for what you can do or for what you may have done. In essence 'you need to be needed' and at the same time 'you need to need'.

You really like doing what you do and, more than that, you like yourself. Your attitude to work and to life is that 'If its not fun - then don't do it'. You want to be liked and respected, not for who you are but for what you are - and it seems to be working.

Most of it accurate, 'cept like... the last sentence. I would rather be loved for who I am rather than what I am. o.O;

Yay! A post in shorter then a year! haha... anyway. I've been doing pretty well minus the fact that I'm currently suffering from bronchitis... such a beautiful illness. >=(
I took Danii out for her birthday dinner last night, which I am hoping with every fiber of my being that she enjoyed. I hadn't seen her in so long because I'm always working... ;.; Which totally blows. When I get better though I do plan on going to the city the first day I have off.

I can't wait until i-con minus the fact that I have no idea what to make for it... Maybe I'll wear a belly dancing costume?

Oh yeah, I took up belly dancing in May. It's been almost a year, I'm already an advanced student too. SO EXCITING! I hope I get really really good, I would really love to become a Bellydance Superstar and I'm dying to travel.

I've also been getting seriously into astrology, if anybody else is interested in astrology you should IM me and we can have amazing chit chats about it. =3

( Pictures of the boyfriend and I )


I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! I MISS YOU ALLLLLL!!!

HOLY SHIT IT'S AN ACTUAL UPDATE!

It's been so long since I've posted on my LJ. Sometimes though I do come on to check up on everybody here. =)

I just wanted to say I miss everyone and I'm sorry I haven't been around very much. I've been really busy with work and school. Unfortunately I didn't realize how much of a work-a-holic I have become and I've been neglecting a lot of stuff. I haven't been depressed, since I've been busy but I haven't been able to let my creative side out. Such as cosplaying and creating things. I really do miss that stuff, but I've been so tired and so busy that I haven't gotten a chance... and now that I have a, very much hopefully, steady boyfriend I've been spending time with him as well.

I was thinking about visiting the city soon to meet up with anybody that wants to hang out. I miss all you guys like crazy.

If anybody ever comes to the island and ever wants to visit me at work and see a puppet show(they're $10 a person), you should come! It'd be great. =)

So yeah, Que cera cera.

Kisses, love, and chocolates to everyone. <3

First post in a long while... I'm so lazy with LJ! lol Well, anyway, animeNEXT is coming up and I have some costumes I should be working on.

Kitana from Mortal Kombat 2
Lady Gorgo from 300
and Slave Leia

I hope I can get them all done, I'm such a bum and I lack motivation. Eeeeevil lack of motivation!

What color is your soul painted? Red Your soul is painted the color red, which embodies the characteristics of love, strength, physical energy, sex, passion, courage, protection, excitement, speed, leadership, power, danger, and respect. Red is the color of the element Fire, and is associated with blood, life and death, birth, volcanoes, and intense emotions. Click Here to Take This Quiz

Quizzes and Personality Tests

Yeah, I just copied the way she made it... sort of. XD







This one I might POSSIBLY do. Problem is I'm not so sure I want to paint all my skin and wear something with barely any bottom... but I'm thinkin' about it!

'Cept I'm definately an idealist and a cynic. I'm insane I tell ya.

Well, here are hopefully some of the costumes I'll be making for I-con! I'm going to try so hard to make these three in a week! -spazz-





( ICON 2007 COSTUMES!!! )

It's times like these I wish I had someone to hold me, to tell me that everything is going to be alright. It's time like these where I wish people knew just what I felt so deep down inside, it's so easy for me to pretend. I just found out my friend, once my best friend from middle school, has cancer. She was always so kind to me, accepted me, loved me. She's beautiful, funny, sweet, and everything you could ever possibly think of. For her, of all people, to get cancer is just completely and ridiculously wrong, the only possible word I could think of. Though we'd grown apart, we still spoke every now and again. Whenever we'd see each other, we'd stop everything just to speak to each other for a little while. When we were younger, she was like a sister to me. At one point, we were even convinced we'd been seperated at birth. I remember our countless sleep overs, the way we'd stay up all night and talk to each other until we just passed out without realizing it.

And next week... will be the anniversary of his... death. This past month I have felt nothing but emptiness... nothing but... a void in the very pit of my soul. Why do all the people with real hearts go first? Why do they have to suffer?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY BEAUTIFUL DANIIIII!!!



20!!!!!!!!!!!

So... today was rather interesting...

I went to school expecting the usual day. Y'know, go to Math, then head to Karate class and mess around with Meggy, then go to human sexuality and then to Medieval World.

Well...
I did do all of those things, but in each class something new happened... 'cept Math. In Karate today Megy and I were practicing and she accidently punched me in the face, but I noticed I didn't feel much pain. Lately, I haven't felt much pain at all. She was also trying to twist my arm and bring me to a discomfort level, but I felt nothing.

In my medieval world class, my teacher was cursing up a storm and he'd never done that before. It was quite amusing, and he wasn't even angry!

And well... in between classes I saw my friend Yiannis who I used to have a sort-of-thing with. So I was happy to see him and he was happy to see me and all that crap... so we started messing around like we used to. I'd pretend that I would beat him up and get all up in his face. Well, if that wasn't enough, out of NOWHERE he just kissed me. Now... Right now I have very strong feelings for someone else, very strong feelings for someone else... and I was in complete shock. I did not expect him to pull that shit with me after what he did put me through a couple of months ago.

I have no problems being friends with ex boyfriends or past almost-boyfriends but please do not kiss me like that... especially if you're IN a relationship and I clearly like someone else because I talk about them all the damned time. When will people learn?

Ok, so, I never make posts anymore. Not that I'm not going to, I'm just so lazy and I hate rambling on about shit. I feel like a huge complainer a lot of time. Hehehe

So anyway, Katsucon was fun, save some drama from the rave. I had a fantastic time with Danii, Anne, and Matt the whole weekend. I am so in love with you guys it's not even funny. Of course all of my love goes out to everyone else as well. <3 <3

Lately, however, I've been really down in the dumps. I can't think straight, I can't feel straight. I suppose it's all just a part of life and I'm tryin my best to get through.

MangaNEXT is in a week and I need a quick easy costume for this! QUICK! I NEED IDEAS PLEASE!

Ok, so MangaNEXT is coming up and I just might go to that if I can get the money together in time... problem is.. I have no manga costumes! Could you guys possibly give me a list of people I could pull off? (Please, something that is relatively easy and doesn't require too big of a budget)

I'd really appreciate some thoughts.